timeline.

like FINALLY another decent update. i am super busy lately as i screwed my assessments and many more problems. however, i still managed to find time to enjoy myself while making money! :) hehehe.. worked for F1 the previous week and hell ya, its superbly fun!!! :):)

didn't i mentioned fun?? yes. indeed it was. the job: playing and fooling around, sneaking in the grandstand, throwing ice at each other and of course, getting scolded countless times! and, this is one of the stupidest game that syuk and i came out with while being bored doing nothing but at the same time earning bucks!

free flow of food and drinks and non-stop laughing and making fun of our superior and slacking and me becoming a lesbian for 3 days looking and gawking at hot grid girls and the hot mamas! what do u expect when u worked with 5 guys and at the same station? just be one of them and ur time flies super fast.

and yes, i did mentioned sneaking in. we misused our pass to sneak in after working hours to watch the race and yes, it was SUPERB!! my ear drum almost burst! the engines and the fuming was AWESOME!

the first day went well. oh, we started work at 7 in the morning and for the first 2 days, we were all looking forward to work. but when it came to the third and final day, everybody started to report at 7.30! hahahaha.. yet, no pay deductions! good or wat?? so much of going public! all gave up and decided to take bike so that can wake up slightly later! wth!

and i would like to thank muhd syukri bin rosdi for giving me this once in a year job and also for riding me to and fro work. THANK YOU! and i still owe him a magnum! u can only get a taste of ur magnum if u let me pay ur petrol money! and also effendy for covering me up on friday.

and i tell u, being the only girl working with 5 guys is insane! i tell u, this is the first time that i got scolded numerous number of times at work! thanks ehh..

and.... before all that.....

THE MEET UP SESSION WITH rozzy!

HARI RAYA 2009!

if only ayah was in this pic, it would be a dream come true!

went to ayah's house in the morning and spend the rest of the day at granny's as our driver of the day, which is abang, is so pemalas to drive us around! stupid.

THE NIGHT BEFORE RAYA

how "good" can my malam raya be when i ended up spending the night with the annoying 4! ok, cout out sham, he is the most well-behaved. naz, syuk and shafiq. omg! so "gerek" of my life!

orang malam raya pegi geylang, we, spent the night at mustapha centre buying peanuts! and then only went to geylang at 4 am and i only tucked in at 6! wth! da la kene tipu! humphh! so much of peiwen ikot!

THE MEET UP SESSION WITH THE GERLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

our same baju raya. nice kan? thanks!

THE IFTAR GATHERING @ WARUNG LELE WITH THE ESCAPE-IANS.

A

THE MOST BORING COURSE EVER! THE EXSA AWARD COURSE.

and, thats it for this update. till the next post!




p.s: why now? only after my feelings for u have gone. and why are u coming back only after i have finally found the courage to let u go. one thing for sure, i NEVER should have longed for u. and to the other person, try harder to gain back my trust. too much damage done.

i want my own PRINCE CHARMING :)

YES! I DO!! :) :)
this post might sound so whatever but, who cares when i don't.
:) i have been in my lowest mood for the past few days and i think that i am sick of sad posts for now. and therefore, i am gonna talk about something that never fails to make me smile!
did u guys noe that whenever i am thinking about this, i can spent the rest of the day smiling like a mad cow? hahaha.. its true ok.
call me stupid, lame, crap, rubbish, nonsense. for all i care. at least i did not hurt anyone's feeling in doing this crap. ok, skip it.

i longed for my prince to be not necessarily good looking nor having he perfect build body, however, i want him to be the most loyal guy of all because i don't care whoever he wants to go out with as long as he noes that i am a priority to him.
he must be the most responsible guy as i am not gonna just let anything slide if anything went wrong somewhere in between cause i believe that a real man should face the music.
he must be the most sporting guy ever as i am not gonna entertain mushy dates all the time as its gonna get bored sooner or later and affectionate may seems so last summer by then.
he must be the most caring guy ever as i am gonna give my all and he should take good care of it as once its tarnished, its never gonna come back again.
he must be the most humorous guy on earth as i am tired of shedding painful tears and i demand him to bring me tears of joy and makes me smile.
he must be the most patient guy as i am very harsh at times and very difficult at certain moments whereby jealousy will get too overpowering.
lastly, he must be the most jovial guy as i can only survive with a guy so cheerful in my life.

i'll never ask for any much from him.
i'll never ask for that is beyond his reach.
i'll never ask much of his time.
i'll never ask for wealth from him.
and..
i don't care if a date with him means walking to our destination.
i don't care if being with him means poverty.
cause...
i noe that if he is the most caring, loyal, jovial, responsible and sporting, i'll never need anything else to be happy. and so, falling asleep together in the phone is the most sweetest thing that i can ever been through. and waiting and being there for him is what i promise to do.

so, thats my 'happily ever after' wish. know anybody with these criteria? hehe.. :)

let it slide.

i am terribly tired. am too tired that i can't even bring myself to think properly.
been having sleepless nights and in the past five days, i am amazed with myself that i slept for barely seven hours. all thanks to assessments and projects.
and after all the sweats, every seconds that my eyes tried to open up and stay vigil to complete those tasks so as to meet up with the datelines, its all worthless!
here come vacation modules! and i swear i don't deserve this. people should at least be thankful for the times that were wasted just for craps. i shall not elaborate more.

TOTALLY TIRED OF GIVING IN.
and, that is the dominant reason on why i am giving up.
i mentioned this alot of times- i know.
whatever that happened and happens to me, i will just blow up upon myself.
even to the extend that my own flesh and blood brought me down.
stay quiet and still being able to smile and swallow the pain is beyond words description, but i still pulled it through.
friends? i have an enormous circles of it, but, the painful part is that, i can count the ones that really are friends with my fingers and still have some to spare. amazing huh?
or i should say amusing. nothing should be surprised at. its normal.
i bet even u people out here can count your friends, put aside 'friends'.
because, true friends are the ones who don't make use of u.
and they stick with u through thick and thins. through rain and shine. through dark and brights.
and no matter how rocky your road going to be in the future, they will be with u -still.
and friends are the ones who doesn't see u as an item which they can use to kill their time when they're bored or have no idea what to do and see u as an instant thing.
that, is actually the ones that u should just smile and faking yourselves to.
why? because they are also faking the kind of friend they see in u.
i bet u people out there have came across this circumstances whereby, a 'friend' finds u and being such an adorable asshole when they have no one to talk to or maybe they needed your help and when they have somebody else or even someone else to spend time with, they will just ignore u and poof when missing when just a few moments before, u seen him/her.
and yes. that person should be labeled as an asshole mother fucker.
to think back, why do i still entertain people like this?
simple. because i know how it feels like when u are abandoned when u have no one and when u go to someone for company and that person just shrugged u off. the feeling is atrocious.
and i believe in karma and vice versa. that is why i still go on and be friends with u and i am sincere in doing it.
and, when u are sincere in your friendship, u don't keep anything from your friend because friendship means trust and trust is sharing. no doubt about that. and just so u know, i am sincere in all my build friendships and that is why, even the slightest things that any friend kept from me or even lied to me, i know. maybe not know as in know but, know as in a wake up call for me to stop being stupid. stop hoping that it will change someday cause, YOU NEVER CHANGE. NEVER. and that is my new believe.

and that is the reason why i am giving up. for the final time, i am giving up and just going to let it slide just because....
but, as i said, i am sincere in my friendships and that is why u can come to me still if u think u need my help and feel bored. no worries. i am used to it. and please, to whoever who read this, don't bother ringing and bugging me, asking who is this meant for and asking me "is it me" because i am not entertaining those questions. why not just ask yourselves.

sometimes, its better to just..

ignore whats happening and live life to the fullest.
i am sick, disgusted and tired of pure life nonsense and its a total crap!
having to bare with 'white lies', backstabbers, flirtatious bitch & jerks, and not to mention, the never ending excuses that people made to cover up their bare asses.
just tell me, should i still consider such basterds my fren?
should i just act stupid and play the dumb asshole fren?
should i just let these bullshits ruin my life just to take considerations of their feelings?
or should i just turn to them and say "u can jolly well carry on with your shits towards me" and walk off?
to think back, i don't want to be a perfect bitch. what do i gain?
i have enough of "sorry. i won't do it again".
totally enough of "ok, i promise.".
freaking sick of "i'll try." tell u what, u NEVER tried honey. NEVER.
and bloated of "my family this. my family that."
bullshit la!
when i don't give a damn about how happy your family is! well, congrats u managed to envy me and, congrats also that u have successfully made it to my 'top ten most hated person on earth' list.
and to this particular person/people, i seriously don't know should i really consider u my friend still or should i just treat u like another pain in my ass.

and to this another person, thanks for intruding my life twice and gave me the best hope that anyone can ever afford to give, but, i would appreciate it if u just make up your mind and stay gone if u decided to fuck off from my life. and one thing for sure, i GAVE UP waiting for someone who don't deserve my time, what more my concern. i'm tired of dealing with things that took up alot of time and yet zero courage to come and be a man to spill the beans. i had my say. thank you for reading.

stay gone.

GO AWAY AND STAY GONE.