dear AYAH...

this post is especially for u. u wanna noe wat? u failed me. u failed me BIG tyme. i called u this morning. really hoping to meet u. i have never seen u since last month and the only tyme i met u was during my trip to johor and that is less than half an hour. i misses u damn lot and when i got to noe that research and methodology class was cancelled this morning, my first thought was to call u to ask if i can meet u. that was my VERY FIRST THOUGHT- meeting u. meeting my dad. meeting sumone i misses alot as i never get to see him everyday like what my step siblings got! fair enuff... i called u and told u that i misses u and want to see u badly and guess wat?? u just pissed me off wif ur everlasting strong words. u break my heart. in millions! millions of pieces! well.. i may sound over dramatic here but thats how i feel! u think that i wanna ask u for money. NO ayah! NO! i repeat, NO! i just miss u! thats it. so, i just say to myself that i just stay home till 1 then head off to skool. i just brush my intention off. and u send me a message. it hurts me. ur words as usual hurts me. ayah, i really hate u. hate u for always think that i see u as my bank. i'm here just begging u to think good about me just ONCE! PLEASE! u bring my mood down. now i noe how u think about me. u never miss me. NEVER! i noe it'll do u good if u didn't see me for a long period but as usual, i can never stop missing my father that i have lost years back. 6 years to be precise. i'll never stop loving u even how much i hated u and how hard u hurt me. u're always a father to me but only from far. near my heart, u are always my everlasting hurtful critique. thanks ayah for ur words. just to inform u, i really dun need it AT ALL. watever it is, i still regard u as my only father and will always love u. take care and dear GOD, please protect my dad from all evil and grant him happiness and health and to u step mum, pls love ayah like how much i hate u and u hate me.