i miss u...my family..

well..ya.. life sucks! maybe not yours, but mine.

my family background sucks. my love life sucks-BIG time!

my studies sucks. my financial sucks. my body sucks.

almost EVERYTHING sucks.

believe it or not, its true.

actually, the reason why i post this is because i REALLY MISS MY FAMILY!

like damn lot!

i miss my dad. i really miss being his daughter. i really miss calling him "ayah.."

and i miss him calling me "adik.." i really miss the time that he will console me when mama scold me. and miss the quality time when we both were left stranded

at home wif no food and that last for 2 years! mama walked out with abang and addin and i was left with ayah. it was hard for me but ayah, u were there for me until the past

5 years. i've been alone. without u. u wanna noe y? becos u hated me for failing my

exams. u hated me so much that u throw me out of the house. out of ur life indeed!

i tried to contact u but u refused to talked to me or even glance at me.

that lasted for 3 freaking years! and by the time u talked to me back, i've already found

the strenght to get over it, through mama.

mama have been there for me after u left me. eventhough living

with mama is way far difficult compared to u, i'm still happy.

even i was tight with my financial i still survived happily.

even i have to work extra hours and my only time to study is on my way to work

or school, i still aced my exams becos i dun want to repeat the same failure which brought me to where i am today...-at mama's house. but, i'm still happy till yesterday.

i suddenly miss u. i suddenly felt that u have not been fair to me and addin.

i miss my parents. i miss their tender loving care. i miss mama. i miss ayah.

i noe now ayah are happy with his new family. and, u deserve that ayah.

mama, i'm praying hard for ur happiness everyday- i swear! hopefully ur day wil come.

i even go the extra miles for mama to ensure that she got wat she deserve. which is the BEST that no other woman deserve cos she was there to bring me in her home when i

came knocking on her door crying with my luggage.

well, both of u have done ur part. i thank u millionsssssss!!!!

but, one thing for sure, ur love wasn't enuff and never will be enuff

for me cos i'm struggling with my life without u both.

especially u ayah. i really misses u alot! i'm wondering how will my wedding be like without either one of my parents if i ever got one.

i want a father-daughter time, day and life.

everything! now that ayah is happy and have new responsibilities, i'll just let him be.

the only thing ayah will say to me if he contact me now is hinting me not to ask any more money from him which i did only if i really have no money to buy my skool's stuffs.

which i believe is still his responsibilities. but, nvmd.... i'll just have to keep myself

away from ayah. he deserves his happiness. so, ayah, if u feel that u need me, i'm always there for u but, if i ever need u now, i have to think about ur new family which needed u the most. miss u ayah. i love u. i wish u will feel the same but, no, i dun think so.

u got a new daughter now and i'm sad that i'm no longer your only daughter.

but its ok, the 2 years is enuff for me to have a good memory of an excellent dad i had.

may u wil be blessed with happiness throughout.

loving u always....azura majid..

missing u badly ayah.... love u..