♥ 091209 ♥

Trust. Golden trust.

2011-10-16T12:30:00.001+08:00

U have to choose the right person. And, i didn't. But, now that i know, u're no longer my fren. I do not need u nor know u. How i wish i could turn back time and start back with no secrets shared with u. U, are not a fren anyone would ever wanted.

Crayons.

2011-10-11T08:00:00.001+08:00

I'm glad i got back whats have always been mine.

Love Drunk.

2011-10-09T09:49:00.001+08:00

Starting afresh. There are lots of things i wanna share. More than 365 days of events. But, i dun think i can remember all. So, lets just say that everything was ok, i guess.

09.10.11
Since midnight strucks, i've been keeping vigil of my phone. Midnight, no message nor call. 1am, nothing too. 2am, still nothing. 3am, i almost gave up, well, indeed i did. Fell asleep with my phone still in my hands.
Did u forget what today is? Or, u're still mad about friday? Or, from the moment u left me alone and said u hate seeing me is for real? And to u, its really over between us?
I'm tired. I am not strong enuff (yet) to deal with all this. U didn't contact me for more than 36hours now. I cried myself to sleep so much that whenever i woke up, theres a pounder in my head and swollen eyes. Its torturous!
For now, i am still waiting.. This is the reason why previously before u, i've never been in love for 3 years..

the great escape.

2010-08-03T01:55:00.001+08:00

there will surely be a next time :)

paradise.

2010-07-11T20:23:00.002+08:00

well, a short update.
I AM GOING ON A HOLIDAY!!!!!! -finally.
a short getaway is all i need and i am happy that i am going with my beloved muhd syukri and friends and the best thing is that i am getting a hotel room all to myself! wee!!

be back in 4 days time and i am so gonna shop till i drop! woohoo!!

wavehouse.

2010-06-21T21:04:00.008+08:00

ok.. again like finally i managed to finish up this post which have been in my drafts for so longggg. ok, back on track, went to the wavehouse to support hui li for her seventeen summer beach babe/hunk comp and it was a nice finish :) congratulations to HUI LI!!!

and this pretty lady, aishah of course :) damn u aishah! hahaha.. 50 bucks just like that!

well, it was nice and the weather was perfectly hot and the ambiance was fine. i do enjoyed myself except at one particular moment which i do not wish to elaborate so as to not spoil my blog post.. just a little reminder, dun go around cutting people's conversations. thank u.

DON'T ASK ME WHAT HE IS DOING AND WHO IS DOING IT WITH!

and lastly, we do have a whole lot of 'free tanning'. i'm not dark enuff meh?? hehe.. till he next one people! *wink*

like finally...almost finally..

2010-06-14T11:45:00.007+08:00

its been like ages since the last update. many things happened and changed. some were expected and some happened just as i wanted it to be.
on the 10th june, boyfriend and i freed ourselves from work and went on a "so long never do this" date :) although some things weren't meant to happen but stubbornly did happened, i still am proud to announce that I HAVE TAKEN THE SINGAPORE FLYER! hehe.. like FINALLY!

well, its a 'present' from my favourite boy on our 6th month :) oh ya, thank u:) :) :)
the scenes were just breath taking! it was indeed a nice surprise.

and another surprise was on 6th june. well, i NEVER expected that i would be going out the WHOLE DAY to the SAME PLACE in the SAME CAR eating on the SAME TABLE and chatting around with HIS FAMILY! because, all i know is that his family does not know that i exist! like i swear!

ok, cut a long story short, we went to watch his sister's tertiary silat competition at persisi together with his family, his colleague (which is sometimes mine also) and his buddy din. spent the whole day there and i swear i love watching silat because its just entertaining and engaging. nice. ok, i think that its either god answered my prayer or he is just secretly reading my blog.

because, all i ever wanted have been fulfilled on the 6th june. so, is this guy in his favourite striped shirt have been reading my blog? hmmm... i wonder. it was unexpected! but still, i thank god for granting all my prayers. Alhamdulillah :)

well, even so, although i went out with his mum and all, they still do not know who i really am. all they know is that i am the colleague of their second son. but still, i am thankful that at least what i want have become what i once wanted.

and yes, not forgetting, his family.

p.s:
i guess and i hope this is just the best beginning because i dun really feel like i am the other girl anymore.

truth is..

2010-06-04T03:08:00.003+08:00

i have always wanted to tell the whole world that i am attached to u.
because: i am proud of it.

i have always wanted us to be just like other couples at work that sits together and not ashamed to show others how they are so affectionate about each other.
because: i never had one before.

i have always wanted to put our picture together as a profile picture but i know i can't.
because: i am afraid u won't like it.

i have always wanted to change my status so that all my friends and yours and ours knows about us but i know i will have to wait.
because: i am sure that will make u uncomfortable.

i have always wanted u to hold my hands infront of others but it sometimes never happen.
because: i felt secured when u do so and i know u dun like it at times.

i have always wanted u to sit beside me and enjoy working the same station with me but i know u hates it because u told me before.
because: i enjoy being around u.

i have always wanted u to say "i love u" infront of others, but i know its gonna be hard. i understand.
because: i love it so much when u said that to me and i want others to know.

i have always wanted to know your family but i know that won't take place so soon and i am willing to wait.
because: i want to feel how it feels like to be a part of u.

above all, i have always wanted u to love me like i love u..

all i ever wanted..

2010-06-04T01:12:00.007+08:00

i can't put myself to bed even how hard i tried.
no matter how sleepy i am.
no matter how heavy my eyelids are, i just can't.
because your last sentence is still replaying and kept replaying in my mind.
its so clear and loud and piercing.

dear boyfriend,
have u ever once wonder what i really want from u?
have u ever once wonder how i felt after everything u said that go against what i did?
have u ever once think of me in the midst of your day?
have u ever once wonder how i felt after everytime we fought?
have u ever once love me like i love u?
have u ever once wonder what i might be needing most from u?
i wish u had.

when u send me home just now, i was so happy that at least in our busy schedule, we still have time to spend with each other, although its just on the way home. even a minute alone with u is a luxury to me. but, that only went on for awhile.. i never thought that u are capable of hurting me the way u did just now. even before this u hurt me and i cried buckets, it wasn't the same hurt like i felt just now. it hurts badly that i did not shed a tear because it just hurt so bad even to just think about it..

i meant good. i just wanted to help because i want to be your best girlfriend ever. i want to be the one that u can rely on so much that i am willing to go the extra mile to help u in any way. and all i ever expected in return is just an appreciation. maybe, thats too much to ask for i guess.. your words hurts me the most. i never thought or once imagined that those hurtful words would come from the person i love more that my own life. maybe, i am overdoing things. my part, i am sorry. i promise, it'll never happen again for i learn yet another lesson.

one thing,
am i part of your life or am i just the other girl?

i'm 21!

2010-05-09T18:52:00.014+08:00

i never had a memorable birthday that can make me not sleep because i can't stop looking at my presents and recalling what happened and who did it just for me and having to choose which wrapper is the nicest one. people says that when u're 21, ur birthday is the most special one, no doubt.. mine was a blast! :)

thank u all who really came all the way to vivo and not amounting to how much u guys lied to me especially to (u noe who) just to made a beautiful surprise for me :) thank u all so much!!!

and of course to my lovely boyfriend, u're the BEST!
best organizer, best planner and nt forgetting, the best white 'liar'! :)

and like FINALLY we went to jurong birdpark! wee!! and great trip!

and lastly.. THANK U to:
1-Mr Boyfriend SYUKRI :)
2-rozzy GF
3-shikin GF
4-Mr Jumadi
5-The other ETP-ians that came down and the presents and the marvellous pressie :)
6-Nafa-ians
7-Mr Zainul
8-Mr Sapik
9-Mr Sahil
10-Mr Zul
11-TO ALL MY SUPERB FAMILY MEMBERS especially MAMA :)

i need them to be part of my 21st and last 20th

2010-05-06T03:22:00.002+08:00

well.. knowing u girls really does wonders in my life. the moment i felt alone and bored and sad and left out, u two came to the rescue. and, i used to not worrying that i might lose u both one day as that was my biggest fear. but, time flies and we do changed. time have stole it all. or maybe we're just growing up too fast? one thing for sure, playing grown ups isn't at all fun, especially without u girls. just look at now. i wonder where is shikin. i wonder how long rozzy's hair have grown. hehe.. eventhough i am still in touch with rozzy, it is after all incomplete. right rozzy? we're not powerpuff girls or the female bujang lapok if its not us three..

blading.. slacking.. i miss all those :( i was just thinking to myself that i am a year older in less than 24 hours and i want to spend my 21st with u girls like i did for the past 4 years. but... guess we're too busy. just want to say i miss u, rozzy. and i miss u, shikin. and i miss our time together and i miss all the lame jokes that we can cracked and laughed about it for days!

and.... work sucks because i cannot share my locker with a black fcuk bag and the khaki green puma beg anymore. i can no longer slack at the usual hai sing spot. i miss the fun.i miss the laughter and i miss breaking fast with rozzy in the toilet! (remember, we can't tahan! hahaha!)
i miss waiting for rozzy at our port klang and shikin at chalet's toilet. i miss sharing nyonya fried rice. i miss dancing at kiddy track and i miss singing in the morning knowing that we have to do a shity station. haha! classic! and i miss eating on the same table with u two.. ok, till here...
I MISS U GIRLS BADLY. AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE U BOTH TILL ETERNITY :)

u are just another chapter that dun worth a thing.

2010-05-01T05:00:00.005+08:00

i was browsing and arranging all my folders into place and i came across a few pictures. it made me smile- i can't deny. teared? a lil' in the heart. i dun noe why it happened but one thing for sure, all that are memories that may not be anymore priceless to me. easy said, i've moved on.

on track, it was nice knowing u. it was nice that i had a chance to get to noe someone i fell for better and what more, a date and an outing. a hug? i got it a couple of times but, it was all for a couple of huge mistake. too bad, we didn't make it. because, if we did, i would never be as happy as i am now because, i noe u can never make me happier as in your point of view, i was just a rebound. all those confessing, all those talks, all those dates, all those time we've spend, i'm glad i didn't fell for it hard enough. yes, its hard for me to move on in the beginning. maybe at that point of time i was stupid enough to give it a try like u asked for. but, guess what?
i am thankful that you left me. because, if u hadn't, i won't be happily attached to someone much worth it. so, on a lighter note,
i just realised that,
its not that i'm a rebound, but u're just disposable :)
may u be happy with ur life now because, i am enjoying mine with the people i care and the guy that i love. its not the same love i had for u, the one i had for u was crap. the one i'm having now is the one and only thing that u never deserve from me. such a waste i once gave u. shouldn't have done that. but well, shits happened, and thats why u did.

an honour.

2010-04-26T00:23:00.003+08:00

THIS POST IS FULLY DEDICATED TO:
MISS SITI ROZIANA BINTE ABDUL RAHIM!

I KNOW U HAD A GREAT TIME! I KNOW WHO! I SPECIALLY DEDICATED 100% OF THIS POST TO COMMUNICATE WITH U BECAUSE YOUR BLOG DUN HAVE A CHAT BOX! AHA! CHEYYYY... 9 HOURSS.. FEEWWITTTT!!! ROZZY!! ITS BEEN AWHILE EHH.. HEHEHE.. CALL ME UP GIRLFRIEND! U OWE ME A STORY!!

-end-

silence.

2010-04-26T00:02:00.005+08:00

well.. hello :) my blog have been dead since the past few weeks and all i can say is that i am super busy. and so, i chose not to elaborate more because, isn't that typical?

ok, back on track. other than being busy with the piling up assignments and the demanding of the upcoming datelines, i was also caught up with work.
but, for the past week, it have not been exceptionally good for me. all i can say is that brothers are such pain in the ass. all brothers only know how to look down on us and think that they are so freaking good and they have all the right to do whatever they like and think that they contributed to everything when the fact is that they contributed more trouble and miseries! #%&&jgj%&*&*@!!!! yes! they are annoying! so, i got into a huge fight with both my brothers and its the final straw! the solution: off to daddy's crib. and guess what? i feel much more comfortable here and at ease because i do not any more need to entertain morons! argh!!! call me inhuman or heartless to hate and talked bad about my own flesh and blood, but, what i can tell u is that TRY BEING IN MY SHOES. then, tell me if i am inhuman. because the meaning of inhuman is brothers! they seriously dun know and dun even bother to know that what they do are f**king irritating and annoying! they dun know because they are heartless! so, i dun want to say more. just this will be enuff. why must i write so much about people who dun even worth a living. who dun even know how to be thankful! hmphh!!

nothing on you.

2010-04-15T19:20:00.005+08:00

and..... yes i miss them a whole lot! no! wait, not the guy in army green t-shirt and thick black specs. everyone excluding me and that specky guy, i misses them so so so much!! it was a great coincidence the previous sunday. long story. but, one thing for sure, go and catch Date Night :)
hilarious and entertaining! ok.. till the next post.

no point ranting, although its pleasing.

2010-04-08T13:11:00.004+08:00

sad isn't it? but, yes, people change. be it from good to bad. bad to good. wild to innocent. innocent to wild. great to marvelous. marvelous to fantastic. excellent to the best shit. it all changed. but, the most sad thing about changes is that it has its pros and cons. one thing i hate is that, u might even lost someone that u trust more than just a friend.

the decision i made.. the path i took..

2010-04-05T12:48:00.002+08:00

no matter what and how and when and who judged me,
no matter what and how and when and who talked about me,
no matter what and how and when and who betrayed me,
no matter what and how and when and who jeer me,
i only have one thing to say,

u did the right thing because i think u're perfect- NOT!

does jealousy means love?

2010-04-02T12:41:00.005+08:00

he told me he was just trying to ignore me, make me angry and its all just because he hate to see me joking around with other guy colleagues and that he felt outcast everytime. he felt that i did not joke around with him as much as i did to the others. he said that he just hates it when i just don't talk to him as much like i did to the rest. so, saying and telling me to lose weight was a form of getting even? my boyfriend just needs to grow up. hmm..
talked. just talked and all problems and misunderstanding solved. yes, he was pretty much jealous and finally admits it. and that was the reason why he was being super nasty to me lately. and if thats the case, he was well enuff succeeded! hmmphh!! after talking and sharing, we both realised that the problem in our relationship is that we dun talked things out and choosed to keep in to ourselves and thats where revenge seems so sweet.

and now... after much confession, he is not as bad, ugly and cruel like i have been judging. he is just a boy that needs to grow up. haha!! ok, much said.. syuk, i'll never fall for anyone else cos u've already occupied all the empty spaces. thats the truth for sure. in short,
i love u, muhd syukri bin rosdi..

read out slow.

2010-03-30T16:20:00.015+08:00

outdated. yes. it is! i have been so tied down with the never ending assignments and my lappy is giving me such problems! urgghhh!! life have been bizarre and miserable lately. however, i do have some good quality time to share :) ermm.. tell u what. i'll tell u briefly and then let the pictures do the talking alryte. deal!

the outing cum lepak session on TS Zul's last day :( so gonna miss his kindness :(

then... the rides chalet..

for sure, the food were awesome and the ambiance...... hmmm... ok la.. nt like before. but still, FUN!

the wee hours trip to the market :) i loooveeee the fishes there. the smell. the super wet floor.. hmm.. that was simply great :)

oh ya! one advice! always sit beside somebody who has a camera like shamim and u'll get kinder bueno! special treatment :) :) :) tanx ehh mim!!

and... of course no matter how sucks school is, theres always frens that shines it well!! love u gerls a whole lot!! its been ages since my last neoprints!!

turdles!! till the next proper post!! *wink*

lets pretend..

2010-03-27T12:49:00.001+08:00

because this is the path that i chosed. the journey that i decided to take and the life that i lived in since almost 4 months ago.. and so... here i am still holding on. hurt. thats part and percel of a relationship. but, i think hurt have became a must in mine. getting hurt shows and proves i have feelings and, that is why i cry buckets when u hint that i am too fat for u.

i'm sorry i am not curvacious.

i am sorry i am not pretty.

i am sorry i am not perfect.

i am sorry i am not as slim as u think i would be.

i am sorry i am not up to ur standard.

BUT,

i ain't gonna show it because i am still pretending that its fine.

pissed!!!

2010-03-09T11:13:00.002+08:00

AKU SUMPAH TENGAH BINGET DENGAN KAU!
KAU PEY PRANGAI SUMPAH STOP IT AH SIAL!

i just need ur understanding. nt ur judging.

2010-03-08T11:58:00.002+08:00

got a text message and it woke me up kind of rudely i should say. and i replied it in the midst of being super tired and sleepy still and in a daze as i have a massive headache since saturday. the reply i got back seriously fumed me up. u, dun just go around saying things that u feel like saying without taking considerations on what others might have in mind and might be facing. u dun just go around saying and talking like as if u're the only one making effort and that i am taking things for granted. FOR YOUR GENERAL INFO, i seriously am out of time for the past few weeks as my assessments are on going. and for ur info again, my assessments is not all about sitting down, memorising notes in my bloody head and wake up fresh the next morning and put the notes u have stored in mind into the papers infront of u! it doesn't worked that way! it doesn't! i have to bloody work my ass off and do all the renderings, all the floorplans, all the proposal boards and research on my very own handout all night long and spend money on printings and get huge dark circles under my eyes and be in school bloody early in the morning and u will never know whats gonna surface next for me! GOT IT??! so, i would appreciate it if u could just spare a thought and watch what u wanna say coz i tell u my fren, U JUST HURT ME. big time! i am super pissed and dissapointed on how well u just spoiled my day. thanks ah.. seriously, before u say this to anyone, say this to urself.. ACT UR AGE!

the more u say, the lesser i care.

2010-03-05T20:03:00.025+08:00

went to the salon last wednesday and i only intended to trim my hair and cut my frinch first but ended up doing technical highlights since its an advance 21st birthday treat :) and, at first, i thought that it looks fine until i realised that i kind of look like a minah -____- but, of course my face cannot make it one. hehehe... so, like it or not, i still have to bare with it until it fades away which i believe will take quite awhile. i dun wanna spoil my hair and its also a 'birthday gift'. and, what 'made' my day was when my ever 'lovely' boyfriend 'complimented' on it and he was being super 'sweet' by telling me that its 'nice'.. tanx ehh... its ok. its my hair. not yours. just relax.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

and... lately, some people have been reading my blog and saying that i am bragging too much about MY BOYFRIEND. tell u what dear 'readers', i dun care and give a single damn on what u gonna say and said. yes, i am bragging about MY BOYFRIEND and, is there anything that matters? why can't i brag about MY BOYFRIEND in MY BLOG? isn't this MY BLOG? so, if u want to read, be my guest, but, u keep ur comments to urself! got it? if u want to comment so much, theres this vibrant pink box that u can by all means share ur thoughts if u dun noe about it. so, if i want to talk about MY BOYFRIEND, u just read coz i noe u're just being jealous of how happy i am with MY SUPER HOT BOYFRIEND. talk all u want. just tell me when u're done :)

yet another drag.

2010-03-02T17:43:00.002+08:00

i'm tired of having to postpone yet another show.
seriously tired of it. tell u what honey,
JUST FORGET ABOUT IT.
i give up.

mummy's girl :)

2010-03-02T16:27:00.002+08:00

went to pasir ris to do my brother's ezlink for the 4th time this year wif mama and had a great lunch at mad jack. it was nice having to spend time wif mama as we did not do that since her operation late last year. and so, once again i was mama's only girl :)

had fish n' chips and mama had her all time favourite beef lasagne and it was super filling! yumm! then headed off to skool to finish up on my last project for thursday submission and that will leave me wif the last design & culture presentation and that will be it for this term! woohoo!!!

and, i DID NOT flung my cooperate & retail module!! weee!!!!!! :) ok, till here.. need to render my exhibition for now!!

p.s:

if only u noe how dissapointed i am with u, then u will noe how much i love u.

another try. another chance. yet again..

2010-02-25T11:37:00.003+08:00

and so.. everything, all the haywire subsides faster than i thought.
its another try yet again. and after all the fights he had, the heated arguments we went through, i'm kind of loving it. its kind of fun to shout at u sometimes.
and its kind of fascinating to see ur long sour black face which ensure me more that u're not at all good looking. hmm.. and also, its entertaining to just ignore u at times.
i feel super good and the best part is that, i have all the reason for myself to go find the other 'partner'.. hehehe.. hey! i still loves u ok. no one can ever defined that. no doubts. the 'other one' is just 'the other one'. no more but might be less. :)
ok, till the proper looongggg post.
lastly, through it all, i LOVE my boyfren very much :)

i got sick and tired of ur attitude.

2010-02-24T16:52:00.000+08:00

u just dun change. will never.

u just got to know how to give out ur time.

2010-02-23T21:42:00.003+08:00

i have been seriously bored with the fact that u just dun care how much time we spend together.
be it little or more. i was upset indeed with how u've been acting lately.
its just that u think that i'm no longer a priority. guess ur frens and ur cliques are much more worth of ur time rather than spending it with me! i seriously hates u! i hate the way u took things for granted! i hate the way u dun even bother to care that what u've PROMISED that has yet to be fulfilled! i am seriously freaking annoyed with u! why can't u just be one hell of a concerned human being when i have shed out everything. i repeat, EVERYTHING for u???! is it so hard to just dumped ur frens for a day for me???! am i asking u too much??! hsducgisbcdu agwbich xuihozu yfqs!!!!!!!!!
i seriously hates the way u're putting the situation that i am in now! i hates it!!!! please! for once! change!

2010-02-22T15:40:00.006+08:00

and so.. the previous post was removed and i hope it does do good. i dun noe why now i need to filter what i want to post in my own blog. sometimes, it is just not fair that certain things take control of your own rights. well, who says life is fair? anywayssss... this is an apology with regards to my previous post that i believe have hurt people all around the world. (this is just an exaggeration) and i hope that these things that happened do ring a bell in all of our heads. ok, enuff said. done my part. like i said, i dun mind u hating me but i mind hating u. and that is why, an apology doesn't hurt at all. -end-

this is for the part that i think u guys know for who. maybe i should just tell myself this the next time he hurts me! well, it cures way much faster this way. to all the ladies out there, maybe u need this piece of advice also if your boyfren is being such a 'darling' to u at times. :)

p.s:

i was furious with the way how people treated my boyfren. well, i believe he have hurt people's feeling with his irritating jovial nature. but, again, he is a normal human being with feelings and do filter what u want to say to him like how i filtered my blog. and better start talking to him nicely because i would seriously appreciates it loads. thank u.

our 2nd.

2010-02-11T17:12:00.001+08:00

i am happy that it got a chance to reach the 62nd day.
becos, in between, i felt like giving up.

all i ever wanted.

2010-02-03T18:07:00.001+08:00

is ur concern.

my best shoulder, muhd syukri bin rosdi♥

2010-02-01T18:24:00.008+08:00

i never get bored to talk about this irritating guy here even if people hates it. so what? u get bored and tired of it, why are u still clicking and chance upon my blog? correct?

well, get back to the topic, i am here to express my BIGGEST APPRECIATION to my dear boyfren for being there for me when i really need a shoulder to cry on.
when i really need to drain out my tears.
when i really need sumone to talk to.
when the step-mum messaged.
when the daddy become a major problem.
when the mum just can't stop nagging.
THANK U FOR BEING THERE. thank u for the shoulder for me to cry on. thank u for making me feel so secured and thank u for accepting for what and who i am. no matter how mad u make me feel or become, no matter how much of an irritating moron u gets, u are still the BEST i can ever ask for. thank u, muhd syukri for being my BEST BOYFREN.

because its from him...

2010-01-29T00:39:00.001+08:00

"Dislove, Islove,
Delove, Bestlove,
Waylove, 2love,
Saylove, Datlove,
Imlove, Reallylove,
Luckylove, Tolove,
Havelove, Ulove, Aslove, Mylove,
Switylove.

Now read it again without the
word 'love'.

Cute right? Haha..."

its more than cute. its adorably sweet!
and it came from u! thank u so much sweetheart!
p.s:
i am so in love with my boyfriend :)

some things are better left unsaid.

2010-01-27T16:06:00.007+08:00

and yes, some things are better off kept within urself. and yes, the thing is that i hate the fact that u sometimes took me for granted and u still do.
the fact that u choose ur frens over me at times and the fact that u have no initiative to have the integrity to meet up when u noe its a hell lot of a torture to wait up till more than 72 hours. the fact that i still have to wait up to 730 days for u still and the fact that u want to prolong the wait and the fact that u just dun get it when i say that i am hurting. wake up dear. its only a month and 3 weeks and u've already tortured me so much with so little time that u had for me. why must i wait more than 2 years when i can only wait 2 years only?
why u can spare a day off for the rest when u can't even spare less than 2 hours to spend time with me when we both end early? why?
i know its not as fun spending time with me than with them but still, spare me a thought. u brought me where we are now and u just leave me when i have nowhere to go.
tell me if its fair for me to say all these to u. and that is why, i rather be silent and smile coz i want to be ur understanding and sporting girlfren (if i am ever one in ur life).

heeeaavyyyyyyyyyyy lunch! yumm!

2010-01-27T15:32:00.003+08:00

last wednesday, i had a 'bloated' day as the cliques decided to have lunch at seoul garden. and so, i dun noe why i even thought of it and i ended up bloated myself! i ate alot. i repeat, ALOT! although i was the first one to surrender, still, i ate alot! too much i guess until i feel like puking when i see food after that. and that dragged for the following 2 days! belueks!!! right, till here for now. till the next update :)

read it through..

2010-01-19T21:43:00.013+08:00

HIS 23rd..

was supposedly to go to jurong bird park but due to some circumstances, i have to change the plan ON THE SPOT and so i decided to go to the 'common' place which is sentosa. but still, it turned out F-U-N!

went to watch the 4D magic show which was my first time and its great! then the log ride and that was superb too! and then hang and roamed around the island before heading to the cathay for dinner and a superbly great movie. to all, do watch the blind side. its fantastic i can bet!

in summary, i did had a fabulous time! and to u my dear, i hope that u enjoyed ur day, like the surprised i've planned for u, the gift i gave u and the card i made u :) well, one thing for sure, i noe u love ur gift cause its ur first g-shock.

THE QUEST TO THE MUSEUM..
went to the museum after much persuasion by my dearest vanessa. so much of the quest for immortality! damn boring and its freaking mundane! BOOORRRRIIINNGGG!!!!!!!!!

however, even if the showcase were boring, we still had our own 'fun' :)
in our own way :) hehehe..

BECAUSE MY STUDENT CARD WENT MISSING!
thanks to a good soul named Mr Ho, i saved my 20 bucks to make a new student card! pheww!! its only the first day of school and i lost my student card and lucky for me, it happens that a good soul found my student card and made the effort to call up the school and therefore i have to pick up my card over at his office over at harbourfront.

and so, class ended early last tuesday and since my loyal 5 company wants to accompany me, so, why not? hehe.. went all the way to harbourfront to get my card and slacked at vivo and having a great time in our own world.

zul, rina and farid went for their meal while vanessa, iqa and me settled down with donuts and sushi and promegranade juice (so nice of a combination) outside vivo while waiting for the forever hungry trio to have their meal. so, these are the outcome. see for urself.

its ok if people kept glaring at us. that shows that we knows how to have fun! hehe!

THE DAY I LOST MY CARD!
and so, the story of my lost student card started from here! as iqa wanted to send her camera for repair at harbourfront, and i am the only free soul as the rest has electives modules, i accompanied her and there was when i dropped my card. and yeah, her canon camera is the main contributing factor!

alryte! till here for now! :)

'sometimes' is bullshit!

2010-01-14T17:40:00.003+08:00

i dun noe why lately u are being so ignorant.
sometimes u're nice.
sometimes u're sweet.
sometimes u care.
sometimes u just even dun care!
and.. sadly...
the slightest thing u did that hurt me the most!
when u didn't even bother to text me.
when u didn't bother to reply me.
when u didn't even talk to me at work.
i simply just HATE IT! got that phrase? HATE IT!

sometimes i wonder...
why can't we be just like any other normal couple?
why must we go to places where there are least possibilities to meet people we know?
why must we seat seperately at work?
why can't i just hold ur hands after work?
why?
guess the answer just right beneath my eyes.
tell u what, i know u know the answers.
so, why not u come to me and explain NICELY and i seriously hope we can talk and sort things out. i hate it if we continue to be in this manner. suffocated!

but still...
I LOVE U.

my charming liar!

2010-01-10T21:55:00.007+08:00

loverboy have been such a darling. wait. no. he was a liar first, then a darling.
anyways, we still met up yesterday to kind of 'celebrated' our first month eventhough syuk was down with fever and massive vomiting. no, he can't possibly be pregnant because i didn't do anything. promise! hehe.. the promised time was 1945hrs and as usual, i ended up waiting till 2020hrs for him to fetch me -__-
went to the cathay because he said he wanted to get his lil' sister a bag and that i recommended him the adidas bag i wanted so much. then headed to have macd and sadly, i hate looking at him eating just a small portion as he was sick and would literally vomit back what he took in :( then after dinner went to slack at the usual spot. its ok dear, next time we can take the flyers. i dun mind. i noe u're sick. then knock off home only at 1.30 in the morning. loverboy made a surprised. the bag which he initially 'bought for his sister' was actually meant for me! liar! but, its super sweet!!! thank u! and no way i will allow u to waste ur money on me ever again! and never will i tell u what i like anymore! hmmphh!! anyways... THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE SURPRISE! i was touched by the effort and thoughts u put in eventhough u was weak and pretty sick. I LOVE U!

p.s:
hope u like the nike shirt i bought u.

its our first

2010-01-09T19:20:00.003+08:00

days passes by faster than i thought it would. and before i knew it, its already a month that u made me the most happiest female on planet venus! this picture was taken on our very first date and yeah, the ugly truth is that i love u since then.

and to u, thank u so much for all the care and concern and attention and happiness and love u have showered me since 091209. i love u! and, am missing u truckloads!! 2 days more then can meet :( hate ur airport job!

movie-addict!

2010-01-06T16:24:00.002+08:00

updates! updates!
so, its 2010 and FINALLY i have a week off all to myself :) oh wait, i have a 2 day camp and work for the weekend. darn! so, easy said, 3 days all to myself.. dang!

and yes! for less than a month, guess i've watched at least 2 movies and not counting 2 more movies later tonight with mr syukri. this guy here had just turned me into a movie-addict!
ok, lets do a count-list:
1-case 39
2-avatar
3-sherlock holmes
4-alvin & the chipmunks (tonight!)
5-old dogs (tonight!)

and i doubt that would be it. right sweetheart? *roll eyes*
i dun mind as long as movie means spending quality time together :)
enuff about that boy. let the rest of the journey be between him and me. hehe..

dropping off..
got a text message from miss florella ang hui hui to run the upcoming sundown marathon with her and yes! of course i'm super excited! :)
and i seriously dun noe why lately many texted me to run! why ah?
just got a text message from farah asking me join a 16km north east run during her birthday later in march. and like duhh!! i'm on it. anything for the love for running! and being addicted to running is fine than being a movie addict! :)
till here for now.
gotta get ready. mr loverboy coming to fetch me in less than an hour! take care!!
promise a proper update soon!

p.s:
i miss rozzy and shikin damn lot!

boo-hoo :(

2009-12-28T21:09:00.001+08:00

i'm not in my best mood ever! Reason being, my boyfren is sick :( so, this means that he went home straight after work and i have to skip spending time wif him. Super sad! :( i have no mood and i really am missing him badly!

more of this please!

2009-12-28T10:28:00.012+08:00

had this outing a couple of weeks ago. as blogger have been such a 'darling', i have difficulties uploading images and hence, i have no choice but make it outdated.

anyways... this outng was incredibly superb! intentionally was to get my phone then done with it. but, since ernie was joining, we decided to make a full use of the day to spend time together. :) after getting my phone at tampines, we headed for dinner over at serangoon and the food was fantastic! ernie's choice hit the spot!

so, after a scrumptious dinner, we headed off to bugis street to get syuk's watch and then linger around before we send ernie home.

after sending her home, we went our separate ways heading home. syuk and i went to marina to 'experiment' on my new phone and only head home at 2 in the morning. pheww!

and i seriously am looking forward to this kind of outing again! missing them badly already :(
till here for now.

p.s:
i was indeed more than happy. thank u sweetheart!

excuse me b****, but thats my boyfren!

2009-12-27T21:01:00.002+08:00

i have to admit lately that i have not behaving well enuff. been very very bad. i admit. last night, i finally proved him that i can make him feel belonged. i waited for him after work and even went up to his bike infront of the rest. pretty impressive huh? :)
but not for long that i feel good cause, like i said, i have not been good. i did something that if he knows it, i think i'm dead! i 'accidentally saw' something that made me fumed up! super pissed! envy empowered me! i saw this message from his phone that came from this particular person who i also know that went up to my boyfren when she cried! like hello! do u know who are u trying to have sympathy from? well, i know that my boyfren is pretty close to everybody and anybody but, again i think u should better keep a distance from him. theres a limit to everything! got it? u want to stay away or i come nearer?! huhh??! arghh!!!!!

ok, i'm cool. chill. (like whatever!)
am i being possessive? or over jealous? or maybe overboard?
anything, be it. because one thing for sure,
i love my boyfren more than anyone (other than his flesh and blood la) could.
so, pls save this message in mind. thank u.

stupid mistake.

2009-12-26T10:28:00.002+08:00

wasn't in the best ever situation last night after work.
maybe its normal for us to fight and then laugh it off at the end of the day.
but yesterday's fight wasn't the 'normal' fights we usually had. it never was.
i never been shouted at like that and seriously, u are good at making me cry, boy.
i swear i never meant it that way and u, u just got to control ur anger and talk to me nicely.
i know its my fault and i've apologised not once, but countless. even on the bike when we're going to whitesands, i apologised and keep on apologising. and still, i was shouted at.
at that point of time, i seriously felt like taking my stuffs and walk off! only that one thing was stoping me- my bag is in ur bike! dang!
and another thing is that, if only i never promised the other two to meet up at whitesands.
i will definitely by then, walk off! i hate u! i hate u! i hate u!

then, we had this talk. i hated that talk. hate it like i hate u!
but, u, u made me think. like finally! yes i know i've promised to act normal at work.
but, again but, how could i be so cruel to act the way we should be infront of the person who have heart on you way before i did?? u tell me.
and yes, i am so sorry and i seriously need time to suit myself in this situation at work. i need time to act the way i supposed to. i need time. and again, before i decided that i will be with u, we made a pact that we're gonna keep it low. so, whos mistake now? i wonder.

on a lighter note, still,
I LOVE U.

in demand: time!

2009-12-25T12:32:00.002+08:00

i have been pretty busy lately. other than the fact that my workplace is opening every single bloody day, i have to keep track of my mum's checkups and therapy sessions, my training for my upcoming marathon in 5 months time and also the time to catchup with my special one.
i have to admit that even the days are counting by, i only got to spend little time with him.
sometimes i even feel that i have to share him with others. so unfair! and when finally we had our proper outing- just the both of us- it seems that time are just too short. damn it!

had our first proper outing last tuesday- FINALLY!
fren fetched me after my training at pandan gardens and off to jurong point and had our first meal of the day and then off to vivo. initially to catch avatar there, but, due to the pack-ness of the place, we decided to hang around there and then headed to the cathay to catch the 2215hr show.
at first, the movie went smoothly. an hour later, i found myself missing parts of the movie because i feel asleep! dang!
so, i was kind of 'scolded' by fren and promised not to fell asleep. and another good half an hour passed by without me blinking an eye trying to keep vigil and watch the movie. the next thing i knew was.... FREN WAS SLEEPING! tanx ah! woke him up and he made this 'i'm tired and sorry' face and just smiled. -__- i got 'scolded' for sleeping. and got a pathetic face for watching him sleep! hmmpph! another good 15 minutes went pass and the next thing that happened:
WE BOTH FELL ASLEEP! wth! we paid 6 bucks to sleep! so, lesson learnt: do not watch avatar when u're sleepy.

then, i can only spend time with fren in another 48 hours and that is provided we both work the same shift. and, theres no spoilers to spoil our moods! till here!

great-quest.

2009-12-05T10:11:00.016+08:00

so, this is the nebo quest that i owed lonnnggg ago. been busy for updates people.

woke up as early as 6 in the morning and straight head to meet syuk and then the 'couple'..
it was fun actually. eventhough it was super tiring!

guess the journey lead to this sleeping beauties here! from fort canning to bedok reservoir to bedok interchange to changi chapel to east coast to singapore flyer and back to fort canning and down back to downtown for the pitstop! pheww!!

after a tiring day of running, we went all the way to tanjong pagar to have our first meal of the day and head to kabeer's so called gig.

after the show, had supper and off home. i loveeeeee number 2! (i bet kabeer love nimber 12)

till my next update! bye!

hecticly loving it.

2009-11-26T10:09:00.005+08:00

i barely have time for myself lately as my daily routine became so tight and suffocating since the start of school holidays. so, on a lighter note, school holidays = work!
starts early and ended late and i even barely have time to read the papers! and yes, not amounting the housework and the cooking, the laundry and the cleaning! pheww! it was pure hard work for me. but, BUT, i am thankful that i have great kind soul and company that i can sort things to. and i am very very very very thankful to that person. to u, i seriously appreciate your care and concern. the company u gave and the time u spared and the thoughts u had for me was FABULOUS! i love u la! hehe.. ok, till here for now. gotta rush for work. proper update soon!

miles of smiles.

2009-11-17T23:14:00.005+08:00

time have been superb lately and i swear i can never ask for more.
things are good between us and i am loving every seconds of it.
everyday theres always sumthing for me to look forward for.
and the company till late night to the wee hours are great.
and yes, its fairytale come to life i guess.
and i feel super nice when words i never thought come from u did happened.
love it. love it. love it! :)

pink & purple carols.

2009-11-15T10:18:00.013+08:00

went to catch 2012 on last thursday and it was worth watching i should put it though it was predictable whats going to happen.

roamed around orchard central and it was fun though when we came across this huge christmas tree that was decorated with pink and purple ornaments and carols! and as usual, we got so amazed that we took stupid pictures and stayed around the tree for almost half an hour. yes, we are lame. very indeed!

this picture down here, as u can see, cracked me up the most! look at his face! cacat la u pakcik!

after spending the time at orchard central, we walked all the way to far east plaza to have subway as this pakcik here wanted subway so much only to find out that it has closed its outlet there. -__- dang! tanx ehh, penat tau layan awak. then we roam around for subway and finally found one. grab a quick bite and off for 2012.

show ended late! and i was blamed for wanting to go public :( we had to rush to the bus stop as the train service have ended. the only bus left for us was 518 and we dropped near his cribs and i cabbed home since its already 1 plus by then. ok, till here.

because its HOLIDAYYY!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-11T21:04:00.005+08:00

and yes i am over excited and paranoid about it! i bet i'm not the only one. all of the nafa students are looking forward to this loooongggg semester break! 8 weeks y'all!!!! and, after all those sufferings we've been through for assessments and all the exams we've screwed, its worth a break and class picnic is comingggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

like i said, we suffered the pre-assessments period and we stayed late at school, under so much stress and pressure with the strong demand of our clients' brief, design concepts and all, and we barely sleep! urghh!! the radius of my dark circles are getting way too big! damn it!

and, like any other normal students, we had our pressure moment whereby we spend hours and hour just to render ONE, i repeat, ONE, bloody scene be it in 3D Max/VizPro or Google Sketchup! and this pix here are some of our distressed moments while waiting for our work get rendered. and believe it or not, even taking this stupid pix does cracked us up well!

she remind me of one of the dwarf in snow white! HAHAHAHAHA!!! and, i shall now enjoy my HOLIDAYYY!!!!!!! and thursday is just barely 3 hours away! :) :) :)

i seriously...

2009-11-08T10:45:00.002+08:00

DON'T KNOW WHO U GUYS ARE.
SO, IF U THINK U CAN'T LEAVE A PROPER LINK,
THEN I SUGGEST....
STOP TAGGING!
tanx.

i miss friend. alot.

2009-11-07T01:37:00.007+08:00

and i regretted doing so. even once. and that one time brought me where i am and the friendship is now. people says that no point crying over spilled milk, but, i am already crying even before the milk spilled. so, i got a point. on a lighter note, even before this friendship drifted away, i have already been crying because i know someday it will end up the way it is now. and it did.
dear mr nice guy,
have u ever wondered why we started off so well and all we had now are arguments?
have u ever wondered why our conversations turned into sarcasm?
have u ever wondered why we dun laugh on the phone anymore?
have u ever wondered how does the place we used to sit at for hours almost everyday is like now?
have u? i had. and one question that always left unanswered was :
do u still remember that we are friends?
i miss having my inbox flooded with your messages.
i miss spending time at the usual place.
i miss fighting with u for no reason.
i miss alighting at orchard and have ice cream.
i miss going to the fruit stall to have watermelons.
i miss waiting for the bus sitting on the railings.
i miss checking out your phone.
i miss the dozens phone calls u used to make.
i miss the ice mountain bottles u used to stuff into my bag.
i miss the choppings and the kickings of slippers.
i miss arguing with u while walking me home on silly matters.
what i miss the most is u, being u- as my bestfriend.

still, things changed. and we no longer close as before.
we no longer contact everyday.
we no longer hanged out.
we no longer have anything to share.
we no longer talk on the phone till late night talking craps.
we no longer have double chocolate from mc'cafe.
and.. we no longer texts each other often.
in short, the one looking for stones are the one who always thought that diamonds are meant to kill the time when stone searchings are getting too boring.

i want my mr nice guy back again with me. pls.
will it be as impossible as getting my family back?
i miss u, friend, alot.

u deserve better or me?

2009-11-06T13:31:00.001+08:00

and that is why i am leaving. because looking at u makes it harder.
no more holding on to something that never worth the wait.

new divine.

2009-11-04T21:15:00.021+08:00

EXSA AWARD D&D 3rd November 09

EXSA award dinner and dance was awesome. food was great. ambiance was superb and the humor content of the shows were just perfect!

we also want a fair share of the red carpet. hehehe..

see that man with the tall white chef cap? i tell u, he is freaking irritating! orang nak ambek gambar jalan sane jalan sini! alamak!! skali aku swing kang.

in one of the show, at the end of it, this performer gave us one good advice and quote. "if anybody/anything pull or bring u down, and when u're upset, just go to the mirror and say "i'm beautiful! damn it!", but, dun do it too often because liars go to hell." WTH! -__-

HELL'O'WEEN!!

worked for both days on Halloween and the 2nd day was super tiring! damn it! worked for 13 hours! dang! i was so tired that when i went for supper with ayah i slept on the table! i started work at 11 am and only end at 12.15 midnight! i hate doing breakers that day!

i loveeeee this pix here. other than the fact that the vampire is hot in person, the kid i'm hugging is hotter! hahahaaha! call me when u're 21! *wink*

LOOK AT THE CROWD!

hantu pon lapar dok! (ghost also hungry u noe!)

end!

reaked / destressed!

2009-10-28T17:39:00.003+08:00

today started off pretty badly. first, was late for class with zul. despite knowing the fact that we're already L-A-T-E, we still can buy bubble tea and happily waited for our drink. then, what happened next was such a bad luck. its retribution for sneaking in yam milk tea into the studio and the whole half full cup of yam milk tea spilled in my beg! xujgduguxbicuasg!
things that were in my beg:
1-laptop!
2-hardisk!
3-sheep pencil box (the whole part of its head was 'dyed' with brown milk tea)
4-my handphone
5-technical drawing pens and stuffs
6-rolled A3 size floor plan!
7-lanyard with keys and thumdrive attached!
8-copic markers
9-scale rule
10-files with papers and notes!
11-organizer
12-my A4 sketch book
13-laptop chargers, mouse, earpiece, modem..
14-my purse! (i drench my $10 note!)
15-contact lense case..... etc..
damn it! i quickly rushed to the handicap toilet and started washing my bags and other stuffs especially my sheep pencil case. everything was raked with yam milk tea! arghhh!!! saidsgxuiacjbcgjdasjbawu!!!!! i spend almost 45 minutes drying up my stuffs before going back to the studio. tanx ehh.. however, after that, my classmates and i had this 'destressed' moment whereby we created our own video during studio lesson! it was hilarious! too bad the files too big to upload. :( had fun after a yammy atrocious day. till here!

i never have a thing for u.

2009-10-27T23:17:00.003+08:00

because its killing me to continue to have one.
and i really need get things sort out between myself that i can NEVER be with u and u, aren't for me. so, lets just stick as friends and to tell u the truth, i am stupid enough to ever think that u are the perfect one that never fails to put a smile on my face and too bad, u tarnished it and that my thoughts are clear now, and i've made up my mind. i will just be me and for ur info, i've quit trying since the moment when i realized that u weren't there when i needed u the most in such a crucial time. so, like i said millions of times, u just stay as far away from me. i need the distance now until i found the courage to say " u are my past and never will be part of my future. i am SO OVER U."

we were always meant to say goodbye.

2009-10-27T00:58:00.003+08:00

because i am lost in words to explain where it goes wrong and why in the first place i put myself in such a spot. and i assumed that what i decided before was the best for me only to know that i ended up walking alone in the late night without ur company which i really need.
u are supposed to be what i am proud of having and it seems that u are just another bad option that i've opted and disappointment is covering me up- again. like i said before, u just stay where u are and stop being nice to me because i have no more strength to spare for another hurtful battle and i have enough pain to bear. so, please, just stay as far away as possible. because i know that one day i am sure will get over u and time is all i need to heal.

down.

2009-10-26T17:09:00.005+08:00

lethargic. depressed. stressed.
i am freaking tired and worn out. with my assignments piling up and assessments around the corner, and mama in the hospital, i am seriously under tons of depressions!
urgghh! i just hate the feeling! plus, my mind just can't get off u. u, u hurt me the most. just u, being u, make me go insane having to spare a thought about u in my hectic life and it can't seems to be avoided. how could u be so cruel and did not show any concern when i am really in need of it? i bet u dun even care. its pretty obvious that i am not that important. and u wanna noe what? u can go on and live ur life the way it is now and i'll just sit here and watch how it goes. because, giving up is the only way out for me now. to think back, why must i think about u when u dun even deserve a thing from me.

latest update:
mama was out of the operating theater at 1510hrs and since then, my eyes keep getting watery and i can't hold back my tears every now and then. looking at mama so weak and pale and knowing that she isn't responding well for her operation kills me. GET WELL SOON MAMA.

lethargic.

2009-10-23T17:31:00.004+08:00

chai chee to simei to chai chee to bugis to simei to chai chee to simei to pasir ris to simei to chaichee back. that is my daily routine as from last wednesday night. since mama was warded, i have been skipping many classes and i have a major "missing the classmates" madness and whats more major i that i am losing more and more of my precious sleep!

when shikin meets a wheelchair, we always ended up with sumthing!

and to mama:
i miss u so much! i miss all the cat fights that we had before sleep and those stupid jokes u cracked up before we finally fell asleep facing each other every night. and i really miss having pillow fights with u and sharing one blanket and u keep complaining that i took up 85% of it. get well soon and we can continue our late night story. love u loads mama!

WARMEST APPRECIATIONS TO:
1. Nafa Zul
2.Nafa Vanessa
3.Nafa Iqa
4.Siti Roziana
5.nadiah etp
6.siti norashikin
7.hidayah etp
8.nazrul etp
9.shafiq etp
10.cik ani and family
11. mama yaya and family
12.granny
13.kak azirah (sis-in-law to-be)
14.all the other external family members
15.all of the colleagues of mama
16.syuk etp
17.liyan etp
18.peiwen etp
19.pei shi etp
20.abang im etp
21.all the nurses at ward 16.
22.syafiqah coral
23.amalina coral
24.mira coral
25.zainul coral
26. mr. .............
thank u all so much for ur care and concerns for mama. thank u.

missing my mama.

2009-10-22T01:39:00.002+08:00

just got home from the hospital and eventhough am very very very lethargic and sleepy, my eyes refused to let me rest. i am restless thinking about mama, who is now i bet fighting the pain on her. i seriously can't stop shedding my tears. i miss mama and i want her right beside me now.

PLEASE MAKE MY MAMA FEEL BETTER.

i doesn't want to leave mama's bed just now but i was forced to by the nurses and also abang as its already 1 in the morning. i hate to wave mama goodbye. :( i can't wait for tomorrow to come so that i can visit mama. for now, i miss u mama. love u. GET WELL SOON ok ma. love u.

THIS IS MY BLOODY DAMN BLOG! MINE!!!!!

2009-10-21T14:41:00.003+08:00

F.Y.I:
i am freaking fucking suffocated with all the things that i can or cannot post. read the headlines!
ITS MY BLOG. MINE!!!!!
what i wanna say, what i wanna post, what i wanna rant, what i wanna do, its my freaking bloody asshole business. like seriously, tell me why can't i post and say what i want? to make u happy? that is like what the hell. ehh, please eh, i have all the rights in the world to blog about what i want and what i think ok. u, not happy, then like i said, DON'T BOTHER READING!
and yes, i will talk to whoever is not happy straight in the face and i WILL ensure that u have 99 reasons on why i can't post anything that i want. in the first place, why do u even care to read my blog? does ur life consists of me? becos mine doesn't consists u even a single bit! and, YES! its u that i am talking about. i noe u noe who u are and yes, i will clarify with u and after all this, u can hate me for all i care and this is gonna be the last post u can ever read. becos after this, i wish u luck to go dig out where this blog gonna be. please, we bloggers are NOT COWARDS because we PUBLICIZED what we wanna say and if u are not coward and professional enough, go get urself a blog and shoot back! got it?? and dun go around asking people to speak on ur behalf because, that is the REAL DEFINITION OF A COWARD. and dun bother ringing me becos i have no time to entertain such anger. so, thank u.

this people doesn't exist!

2009-10-20T00:18:00.002+08:00

i hate cyclist.

2009-10-19T20:05:00.005+08:00

school is only fun when these people are around me. and i really misses our free time during break to roam around the museum!

CRASH!
i had an ugly weekend and today was an ugly day as well! apart from the fact that today is monday, it was also the worst jogging experience i had in my entire jogging past! what i need to say is that I HATE THAT CARELESS CYCLIST! note to all u cyclist out there, please go and check ur bicycle's break before u ride it! got it? went jogging at 10pm and was only at my 1.2km distance when i felt a rotating circular thing hitting against my butt. and the next thing i knew was i was on the ground flat with my right leg up and facing this china man right infront of me face down with bleeding right arm and torn pants. yes! he hit me from the back and i was bleeding profusely on my left knee and my arms and palms sore like hell! u really made my day china man. arghh!!!

another news, like i said, its ONLY monday, so, its ONLY the beginning of the week, so, its ONLY the first day of a seven day week and i already lost an item. i lost my bloody scale rule!
wow! i have a good life. i bet many people envy me for it. :)
alright, till here. take care people. dun jog when u see any cyclist around ok.

the decided best solution made..

2009-10-18T23:34:00.006+08:00

walk away and avoiding.
could no longer stand it. what more face it.
keeping it low and as far as possible to not spark off any conversations. any contact. anything.

running away? i'm not such a loser. avoiding means no games played. no hopes held. no messy involvements.

so, if u think i am avoiding to talk to u, then u're right.
if u think i am trying to get rid of u, almost right.
but if u think i am just sulking over stupid things, then get ur facts right.

like i said, its better to just walk away.
or maybe lets just put it this way,
"let nature takes its cause".

crash!

2009-10-16T19:41:00.005+08:00

school was way too mundane to blog about. down with slight fever and massive headaches all thanks to the over empowering assignments and stupid makeup classes due to the upcoming hols.
speaking of makeup classes, this week alone i have had 2 in a row! and sketchup class on last wednesday was I-N-S-A-N-E. i swear it was.
having to sit in the lab for a freaking six hours made me wanna cry a river! and i hated it truckloads! i hate school! i hate school! i hate school! skipped 2 classes and am really proud of it. yes, i am sick! sick of all the modules!!
maybe, the only thing i love about school is my beautiful clans of 5. and u guys does rocks school!

today:
ayah fetched me from school and i was really H-A-P-P-Y, HAPPY! i just love the feeling. i missed ayah badly and what i misses the most is that being ayah's ONLY girl. i missed being ayah's only daughter and i missed asking him cheekily "am i pretty, daddy?" everytime i wanted to go out or try out new outfits that he used to buy me. :(

future:
get married with a prince charming which yet to know the name with twins! :) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

time have been acceptably good lately.

2009-10-15T12:44:00.027+08:00

updates! updates!! updates!!! yet another outdated stuffs but u still want to read right? still chance upon my blog everyday to see whats up. right? sukati kau la. bace la.. jgn sakit hati sudah.. ok.. ok.. last week, exactly last week, went to catch Darah with the colleagues over at orchard cineleisure. its a good catch. so, do watch. if u're the type which is very coward, like me, then sit beside sumone who can tolerate ur screaming and pullings!

as it was LAST MINUTE, i repeat for aliman's sake, LAST MINUTE, we were half an hour early for the movie. and so, as usual, my camera entertained us all.

after movie, went to meet up with aliman at plaza sing and had a scrumptious dinner at the jalan kayu cafe and u should checked that place out. superb yet cheap food.

then... before that, we had this raya outing with the colleagues and it was not as much fun as last year's. was fetched after school at 5 and straight away joined the rest.

i was indeed very happy because i finally get to invite all of them to my dad's place! :) am very very very happy! hehe.. and thanks to bibik for preparing the chicken rice.

along the way from fetching me from school, many bloopers happened in hidayah's car. hahahahah.. hilarious! all thanks to nadiah who cracked us up well! hahahaha..

and... before all of the above, i've actually went to do a try-out with syuk at the jalan kayu cafe after finding peiwen's pressie. it was nice.

then randomly, went to catch the ugly truth and another worth the bucks movie i should label. it was a great movie. :) hilarious yet pleasing.

told you the food is good. just look at the servings! and its less than 7 bucks together with drink. cheap kan? cheap kan?? so, go try it!

dun get mad to what i had to say.

2009-10-14T17:21:00.005+08:00

WARNING/REMINDER:

IF U WANT TO READ MY BLOG, U ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO. IF U'RE UNHAPPY WITH ANY OF MY POST / WORDS, GET LOST. IN THE FIRST PLACE, I GOT ASK U READ ONE MEH? NO RIGHT? THEN? ONE THING FOR U TO KNOW, U KEEP UR COMMENTS TO URSELF. GOT IT?

urghh.

2009-10-07T21:35:00.001+08:00

down with fever and massive body ache! i was given 2 days mc. so, this means, i am free of school for 48 hours-hopefully.
but! eventhough i am not going to school. i still have piles of assignments to catch up!
yes, wth! i hate it when u get off and u still have to settle up things! stupid.
and, i seriously need a good break.
be back for updates.

thanks ehh. aku da siap. aku da cakap aku tak nak pegi. kan susah kan aku. humphh!

typical.

2009-10-06T00:26:00.002+08:00

the same shit happens.
again and again and again.
nothing seems to last when its suppose to last.
and everything that is nice and pleasing seems to go as fast as it came.
life isn't easy and yes, who said it was.
and life is much tougher when moments u longed for came not at the right time.
and it happens because it never supposed to happen.
still don't get the hit?

on a lighter note, just don't come into my life- again.
because i took so much courage to move on and get over u and only god knows how painful the journey was.
and i don't ever longed to go through it again. so, just stay where u are and not any nearer.
stop being nice to me because thats your weapon and my weakness.
and, stop acting like u know me. and, i know i did the most idiotic mistake ever.
which is, putting myself back in the fire just to feel how its like to be where i once longed to be.
gladly, i am strong enough to say,
"i love u too much that it hurts. and i hate u enough that i forget u."

timeline.

2009-09-28T22:44:00.058+08:00

like FINALLY another decent update. i am super busy lately as i screwed my assessments and many more problems. however, i still managed to find time to enjoy myself while making money! :) hehehe.. worked for F1 the previous week and hell ya, its superbly fun!!! :):)

didn't i mentioned fun?? yes. indeed it was. the job: playing and fooling around, sneaking in the grandstand, throwing ice at each other and of course, getting scolded countless times! and, this is one of the stupidest game that syuk and i came out with while being bored doing nothing but at the same time earning bucks!

free flow of food and drinks and non-stop laughing and making fun of our superior and slacking and me becoming a lesbian for 3 days looking and gawking at hot grid girls and the hot mamas! what do u expect when u worked with 5 guys and at the same station? just be one of them and ur time flies super fast.

and yes, i did mentioned sneaking in. we misused our pass to sneak in after working hours to watch the race and yes, it was SUPERB!! my ear drum almost burst! the engines and the fuming was AWESOME!

the first day went well. oh, we started work at 7 in the morning and for the first 2 days, we were all looking forward to work. but when it came to the third and final day, everybody started to report at 7.30! hahahaha.. yet, no pay deductions! good or wat?? so much of going public! all gave up and decided to take bike so that can wake up slightly later! wth!

and i would like to thank muhd syukri bin rosdi for giving me this once in a year job and also for riding me to and fro work. THANK YOU! and i still owe him a magnum! u can only get a taste of ur magnum if u let me pay ur petrol money! and also effendy for covering me up on friday.

and i tell u, being the only girl working with 5 guys is insane! i tell u, this is the first time that i got scolded numerous number of times at work! thanks ehh..

and.... before all that.....

THE MEET UP SESSION WITH rozzy!

HARI RAYA 2009!

if only ayah was in this pic, it would be a dream come true!

went to ayah's house in the morning and spend the rest of the day at granny's as our driver of the day, which is abang, is so pemalas to drive us around! stupid.

THE NIGHT BEFORE RAYA

how "good" can my malam raya be when i ended up spending the night with the annoying 4! ok, cout out sham, he is the most well-behaved. naz, syuk and shafiq. omg! so "gerek" of my life!

orang malam raya pegi geylang, we, spent the night at mustapha centre buying peanuts! and then only went to geylang at 4 am and i only tucked in at 6! wth! da la kene tipu! humphh! so much of peiwen ikot!

THE MEET UP SESSION WITH THE GERLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

our same baju raya. nice kan? thanks!

THE IFTAR GATHERING @ WARUNG LELE WITH THE ESCAPE-IANS.

THE MOST BORING COURSE EVER! THE EXSA AWARD COURSE.

and, thats it for this update. till the next post!

p.s: why now? only after my feelings for u have gone. and why are u coming back only after i have finally found the courage to let u go. one thing for sure, i NEVER should have longed for u. and to the other person, try harder to gain back my trust. too much damage done.

i want my own PRINCE CHARMING :)

2009-09-16T01:42:00.002+08:00

YES! I DO!! :) :)
this post might sound so whatever but, who cares when i don't.
:) i have been in my lowest mood for the past few days and i think that i am sick of sad posts for now. and therefore, i am gonna talk about something that never fails to make me smile!
did u guys noe that whenever i am thinking about this, i can spent the rest of the day smiling like a mad cow? hahaha.. its true ok.
call me stupid, lame, crap, rubbish, nonsense. for all i care. at least i did not hurt anyone's feeling in doing this crap. ok, skip it.

i longed for my prince to be not necessarily good looking nor having he perfect build body, however, i want him to be the most loyal guy of all because i don't care whoever he wants to go out with as long as he noes that i am a priority to him.
he must be the most responsible guy as i am not gonna just let anything slide if anything went wrong somewhere in between cause i believe that a real man should face the music.
he must be the most sporting guy ever as i am not gonna entertain mushy dates all the time as its gonna get bored sooner or later and affectionate may seems so last summer by then.
he must be the most caring guy ever as i am gonna give my all and he should take good care of it as once its tarnished, its never gonna come back again.
he must be the most humorous guy on earth as i am tired of shedding painful tears and i demand him to bring me tears of joy and makes me smile.
he must be the most patient guy as i am very harsh at times and very difficult at certain moments whereby jealousy will get too overpowering.
lastly, he must be the most jovial guy as i can only survive with a guy so cheerful in my life.

i'll never ask for any much from him.
i'll never ask for that is beyond his reach.
i'll never ask much of his time.
i'll never ask for wealth from him.
and..
i don't care if a date with him means walking to our destination.
i don't care if being with him means poverty.
cause...
i noe that if he is the most caring, loyal, jovial, responsible and sporting, i'll never need anything else to be happy. and so, falling asleep together in the phone is the most sweetest thing that i can ever been through. and waiting and being there for him is what i promise to do.

so, thats my 'happily ever after' wish. know anybody with these criteria? hehe.. :)

let it slide.

2009-09-11T01:54:00.003+08:00

i am terribly tired. am too tired that i can't even bring myself to think properly.
been having sleepless nights and in the past five days, i am amazed with myself that i slept for barely seven hours. all thanks to assessments and projects.
and after all the sweats, every seconds that my eyes tried to open up and stay vigil to complete those tasks so as to meet up with the datelines, its all worthless!
here come vacation modules! and i swear i don't deserve this. people should at least be thankful for the times that were wasted just for craps. i shall not elaborate more.

TOTALLY TIRED OF GIVING IN.
and, that is the dominant reason on why i am giving up.
i mentioned this alot of times- i know.
whatever that happened and happens to me, i will just blow up upon myself.
even to the extend that my own flesh and blood brought me down.
stay quiet and still being able to smile and swallow the pain is beyond words description, but i still pulled it through.
friends? i have an enormous circles of it, but, the painful part is that, i can count the ones that really are friends with my fingers and still have some to spare. amazing huh?
or i should say amusing. nothing should be surprised at. its normal.
i bet even u people out here can count your friends, put aside 'friends'.
because, true friends are the ones who don't make use of u.
and they stick with u through thick and thins. through rain and shine. through dark and brights.
and no matter how rocky your road going to be in the future, they will be with u -still.
and friends are the ones who doesn't see u as an item which they can use to kill their time when they're bored or have no idea what to do and see u as an instant thing.
that, is actually the ones that u should just smile and faking yourselves to.
why? because they are also faking the kind of friend they see in u.
i bet u people out there have came across this circumstances whereby, a 'friend' finds u and being such an adorable asshole when they have no one to talk to or maybe they needed your help and when they have somebody else or even someone else to spend time with, they will just ignore u and poof when missing when just a few moments before, u seen him/her.
and yes. that person should be labeled as an asshole mother fucker.
to think back, why do i still entertain people like this?
simple. because i know how it feels like when u are abandoned when u have no one and when u go to someone for company and that person just shrugged u off. the feeling is atrocious.
and i believe in karma and vice versa. that is why i still go on and be friends with u and i am sincere in doing it.
and, when u are sincere in your friendship, u don't keep anything from your friend because friendship means trust and trust is sharing. no doubt about that. and just so u know, i am sincere in all my build friendships and that is why, even the slightest things that any friend kept from me or even lied to me, i know. maybe not know as in know but, know as in a wake up call for me to stop being stupid. stop hoping that it will change someday cause, YOU NEVER CHANGE. NEVER. and that is my new believe.

and that is the reason why i am giving up. for the final time, i am giving up and just going to let it slide just because....
but, as i said, i am sincere in my friendships and that is why u can come to me still if u think u need my help and feel bored. no worries. i am used to it. and please, to whoever who read this, don't bother ringing and bugging me, asking who is this meant for and asking me "is it me" because i am not entertaining those questions. why not just ask yourselves.

sometimes, its better to just..

2009-09-07T01:22:00.005+08:00

ignore whats happening and live life to the fullest.
i am sick, disgusted and tired of pure life nonsense and its a total crap!
having to bare with 'white lies', backstabbers, flirtatious bitch & jerks, and not to mention, the never ending excuses that people made to cover up their bare asses.
just tell me, should i still consider such basterds my fren?
should i just act stupid and play the dumb asshole fren?
should i just let these bullshits ruin my life just to take considerations of their feelings?
or should i just turn to them and say "u can jolly well carry on with your shits towards me" and walk off?
to think back, i don't want to be a perfect bitch. what do i gain?
i have enough of "sorry. i won't do it again".
totally enough of "ok, i promise.".
freaking sick of "i'll try." tell u what, u NEVER tried honey. NEVER.
and bloated of "my family this. my family that."
bullshit la!
when i don't give a damn about how happy your family is! well, congrats u managed to envy me and, congrats also that u have successfully made it to my 'top ten most hated person on earth' list.
and to this particular person/people, i seriously don't know should i really consider u my friend still or should i just treat u like another pain in my ass.

and to this another person, thanks for intruding my life twice and gave me the best hope that anyone can ever afford to give, but, i would appreciate it if u just make up your mind and stay gone if u decided to fuck off from my life. and one thing for sure, i GAVE UP waiting for someone who don't deserve my time, what more my concern. i'm tired of dealing with things that took up alot of time and yet zero courage to come and be a man to spill the beans. i had my say. thank you for reading.

stay gone.

2009-09-02T00:34:00.000+08:00

GO AWAY AND STAY GONE.

when it rains at etp....

2009-08-31T23:36:00.029+08:00

this is what happened!

it was raining the whole day on sunday and everyone working the morning shift were having a great day at work. :) did flume ride and i was freaking happy that i did not have to do a single test ride! hehehe.. and so.. i dun know why people choose to slack at my station.

when 7 crews slacked at flume ride with a camera in hand, this is the outcome! cam-whored! as inverter are going to leave us, we decided to snap as much pictures as possible with it -in the rain! and.. our photographer of the day was TS zul! thank u!

we were having so much fun in the rain as well as in the flume ride itself! :) played in the rain and kicking water in each others' faces and ass. it was fun!

we were using the self-timer at first and of course the jump shot we intended to do was a failure and till our photographer came then it was almost to a success! and.. sumpah aku tak cool dalam ini gambar! ( i swear i wasn't at all cool in this pix!)

we bid our farewell to the purple-licious inverter.. aww...

i tell u, this canvas photo is stupid! tanx to people who suggested to it and end up posing nicely and making others look stupidly stupid!

before the camera came along, we were just slacking boringly and slept at the station. no guest was around and it was a good and perfect weather to sleep in.

then, while slacking, got this hantu cina giler i satu datang dengan payung merah jalan sini sane. super crazy. nah! a glance of a crazy lost chinese ghost! hahahaha....

and... while we were having fun snaping photos, playing happily in the rain, soaking our feets in the flume ride water, some of these crews here were queing up for the level one safety test. poor thing! hahahahaha... hopefully it will rain heavily the next time i work. conducive environment to work in during fasting month! :)

almost perfect.

2009-08-30T01:53:00.011+08:00

went to celebrate addin's 13th birthday at simpang bedok and break our fast there too. it was a good day for me. like FINALLY for the first time i got to break my fast with a proper meal and the almost whole family was at one table tucking in. look.. almost perfect. only if ayah was there..

and we were talking about hari raya and so on and i was just wondering if i could at least get a picture of my whole family once for this year. JUST a picture for me to keep. i noe its crap but i really want it badly. just a picture. nothing more.

skip! the food was superb! ate alot! mama's treat was stomach bloating. even some of the foods weren't finished. so, after dinner, abang drove us to nenek's house to send her some food. miss nenek badly. pity her staying alone.

and lastly.....

HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY to this irritating adik of mine! i love u no matter how degil and nonsense u are. despite all the hell u put me through...
and to this 2 here, i swear i didn't know that their picture was uploaded also. but, takpe la... kasi chance sekali sekale nak tompang glamor kat blog aku. hahahaha... till here then.

dark.

2009-08-30T00:28:00.004+08:00

the only one thing that anyone would ask for in life is perfection.
that includes..
no miseries.
no hurt.
no pain.
no lies.
no imperfection.

i don't know why this strucked me suddenly. i don't know why i wasted another bucket of tears.
when i know its all not worth it.
u came not once, but twice. u gave hope in a certain way, high enough to bring me to cloud nine and u left it hanging. i have to struggle back to ground-alone.
i never been sincerely happy since my parents divorce and the simplest thing u did break the rules. i was glad that it happened and i am better if it doesn't at all.

however, i am thankful that i get back to my feet now that i have gathered so much courage to do so.
thankful that its finally over after so much pain.
thankful that i have finally get over it.
thankful that i can face u-still- without any grudges.
thankful that in short, u have get out of my life.

and now, i never thought that i can still be friends with u after so much hell u made me go through.
so much tears u made me teared.
and i never thought that i will have this courage to help u in any ways.
some people call me stupid.
even mama said i'm an idiot to still help somebody that robbed my trust.
but, one thing for sure, i lose nothing helping u cause i gain nothing ignoring as well.
and so, please stop being nice to me and i promise i will never cry for u anymore. please.

emergency exit.

2009-08-28T16:03:00.003+08:00

bloody hell i so wanna get out of this lab right away! RIGHT NOW!
this group work is frustrating! its annoying and its not going anywhere!
u people only knows how to spot others' mistakes but, if u guys wanna know, the BIGGEST problem lies in u guys' own decisions! i seriously want to blast off. but, to think back, i am fasting and what do i gain? other than 2 more people bitching about me after i left. talking is getting cheaper and cheaper. u know what? i'll just sit and smile and agree. hands up.

sum up.

2009-08-27T12:18:00.013+08:00

went down to paya lebar to meet up with syuk, shafiq, zai and naz JUST becoz i was SUPPOSED to fulfilled my deal with syuk to get him his magnum. BUT, i was actually lied! tanx ehh.. suka bangat di buat begini!

met up with shai!!! its been a long time! zul, hairi, maya and kabeer were there too. they head home early while i only tucked myself in at 2 in the morning!

back on school... it was vibrancy day at nafa. and so, many booths were set up and theres this booth we visited was the paranormal booth. i am so not into it i tell u. :)

and ya.. ya.. i still can slack here and there and watched movies online. and my assignments are piling up faster than i thought! look! all these are yet to be touched on! materials for residential module and perspective are waiting for me!!!

tell me, how am i gonna finish these on time??? i swear i dun freaking understand and i also dun freaking care. i hate veronica's class anyway.

alright... i need to get going! and i seriously need to stop my craves for indonesian movies for now! or else my assignments are never ending. and dead-lines are getting nearer!! helpp!!!!

current movie progress: just finish with 'best friends?' and that is officially my 8th movie in 3 days!

if u are bored......

2009-08-27T01:31:00.003+08:00

go and catch:

1- Eiffel...I'm in Love (watch at least twice! won't get bored one. no worries!)
2- Apa artinya Cinta (no regrets watching though samuel rizal not looking that cute with long hair)
3- Ayat-ayat Cinta (watch it after u break ur fast. surely cry and go "aww...")
4- Love ( so freaking sweet!)
5- Sayang u Can Dance ( samuel rizal is HOT HOT HOT!)
6- hmmm.... for this i need to find time go watch. update later.

i am really OBSESSED with these indonesian movies. SAMUEL RIZAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

suka bangat!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-25T15:25:00.002+08:00

i am officially hooked to indonesian movies as for now!
3 movies down in barely two days! what am i thinking?? seriously, i need to stop.
its addictive. hehe.. just done with 'apa artinya cinta' and i guess 'eiffel...i'm in love' is still number one on the list! hee.. :)
mama said i should stop. abang said i am crap. but so what? i am happy what...
never disturb anybody's freaking business what.. right?
ok, i am off to study and do my piled up assignment before back to the fourth indo movie! no time to waste. ok bye!

he is HOT! fuhh..

2009-08-25T00:36:00.007+08:00

OMG! i am officially head over heels for SAMUEL RIZAL!! :) went home straight from school just now and as i've already slept in the studio at school, i have a hard time taking a nap. and so... i watched Eiffel...I'm in Love on youtube and omg....... i got myself so contented with the movie that i watched the whole 21 volumes of it! tell me how can i take my eyes off this hot guy here!!

hot! hot HOT! thats the only word i have for this hunky guy here. :) :) look at his sapau-ness!! hahhh..... *melts*.... :)

arghh!!!! samuel!! kamu gantang bangat dehh!!!! (samuel, u're so hot!!) hahahahaha.... DO WATCH eiffel...i'm in love! i know its outdated but who cares??! samuel rizal is hot! ok.. ok.. enuff!!!!

cute ryte?? hehehe... ok, skip!!
nothing much that was done today. except for the craves for this guy here. :) after break fast, went to accompany mama to bedok to get her medicine and off to the pasar malam as i am so craving for the candy floss. then after got home and bathed, was asked to join zainul, syuk, naz and shafiq to the pasar malam- again! -__- then slacked till midnight and that was it. ok, till here for now. am busy wif 'apa ertinya cinta'! :) samuel rizal!!!!!!!

keep going.

2009-08-22T00:22:00.017+08:00

every wednesday is one hell of a day! i hate wednesdays! reasons being that i have this long day at skool which starts at 10 in the morning and it stretches up till 9.30 in the evening! plus! we have a 4hr and a half break to go through! plus! we have to endure a 2 hour BORING module!

and so, we have alot of plans in mind to spend our long break. eat!! went to far east plaza to shop for zul's and iqa's things and sheila tagged along. had our 2nd lunch of the day at far east and then a walk and roam around session wif the word 'bored' across each other's forehead.

like i have mentioned, we have to endure a 2 hour long boring lecture for this materials and application module. i tell u, its super damn boring! damn damn boring!!! jus look at what we are up to. playing games on zul's iphone, farid here engrossed wif his psp and more sleeping beauties in the lecture.

just so u noe, i rather go to veronica's class than having to endure dry lectures!

sleep to kill the time!

and.. the previous tuesday, went down to city hall after skool to watch 'hangover' at the esplanade library wif peiwen, shafiq, syuk, mel and sham.

the movie room is super cozy i tell u! it was perfect and each of us only need to pay $1.80 for the whole thing! cheap or wat?? and its for like 2 hours! after movie, dinner at kfc and slacked and back home.

till the next updates!

made monday

2009-08-18T00:28:00.029+08:00

last monday wasn't a blue one for me. eventhough i expected it to be one hell of a monday. tell me why not. i got this public speaking presentation at marina and it was just my beautiful luck that it wasn't my group that was selected to present as we were like 30% beyond preparation. pheww!! just look at the spectators!

ended school at 3 and linger around wif my class cliques before heading down to the airport to meet kabeer, syuk and shafiq to have dinner at popeye. was later joined by rozzy.

ok, u tell me. whats so fun and interesting at the airport except for the hunky air stewards and pilot? these 3 guys here will tour u around and make it looks gud for u! omg. we even 'graduated'! let the pictures explains it all.....

the tense moment of an 'exam'.

at the terminal 3, theres a kids corner, i repeat, KIDS CORNER, at the basement 2 and we were only just wanna chill there to sooth our bloated stomach but ended up playing around with the crayons and acting worst than kids! shame on us that even the kid there behaved better! and so, we had this 'whos coloring is nice' session between us. the name of our school: Changi Arts School. -___-

the 'GRADUATION'...

(from left: muhd. shafiq razak, muhd. syukri rosdi, nur azura majid, ahmad kabeer jallaludin)

post graduation of the changi arts school.. -___-

alryte.. till the next update. hopefully SOON.

I AM SORRY.

2009-08-15T13:18:00.007+08:00

lately, i have been trying so hard to pull myself through and i find it so hard to do so.
i have been sharing my problem with my bunch of caring friends and nothing seems to ease the uneasy feeling. and so, i finally thought that i should share it with someone i love the most, my mama.
i told mama what happened from A to Z and mama's advice was a miracle. i never knew that the simplest thing u can ever think of is actually the weapon to solve it all. that is to

FORGIVE and FORGET and JUST SMILE.

be it your fault or the other party. be it your mistake or not. be it u like it or the other way.
just smile, say sorry and u will feel the best u can ever felt. and.. it works! thank u mama.
mama said that everybody tends to make mistakes. big or small, serious or not. BUT, we have no right to punish anyone. we have no right to be angry and show it off. no right at all.

and therefore, i am hereby apologizing to whom it may concern for my mistake.
i know i shouldn't have post about what happened and i am sorry for the words that i have said that might hurt u.
and for that, i am removing the post. mama said that i gain nothing by posting such post but, i do not lose anything either apologizing and forgiving.

so, its up to the other party. u can hate me. u can severe the friendship. u can call me bullshit but i am just doing my part and doing something that can help me ease my uneasy heavy burdening feeling. so, i am sorry and i am still a friend that u can rely on. sorry.

making me smile.

2009-08-14T17:53:00.001+08:00

like FINALLY i manage to pull myself through and have my mood back.
thank YOU for making me feel happy.
i noe u will do anything to make me crazy. idiot u. oh ya, thanks for the 'offer'. but, u noe its hard for me. and thank u for understanding. :)
i noe i can count on u in this period of tyme. and YES! i've promised. i WILL go on tuesday ok. haha..

oh ya, thank u so much for listening to me and give me the support i really need.
u should be honoured like FINALLY i blogged about u. hahahah..
dun flood my message inbox pls.

beyond word description.

2009-08-12T20:31:00.004+08:00

i am thinking of privatizing my blog. BUT then again i was thinking also, whats the point of having a blog if u dun want it to be publicized? (p.s: no offence to whom it may concern). plus, blogs are meant for that blogger themselves to pour and share everything out. ryte?

ok, skip!
life for me hasn't be heaven lately. my spirit wasn't in its best for the past few days. well, one thing for sure, whatever that happened and are happening are beyond word description. this feeling just sucks. i have no mood or enthusiasm to face the rest of the day and the upcoming ones are just too much to handle. its sucks BIG tyme.
i have been bad. real bad. but, sum people are worst in many ways.
handphone have been in silent mode for the past 5 days and my current balance are running low at its SLOWEST pace ever. usually, after only 2 to 3 days, my current balance will be less than half i topped up. see, how life changed.

ok, skip!
i dun wanna think what more talk about it. i have been wasting buckets of tears and now it almost reach a river. :( but, i am thankful that frens and my loved ones are always here by my side. thank u all. i noe sooner or later i'll get over it- hopefully.

ok, skip!
apologies are so hard to be made. but, i am proud that my ego aren't as bad as i apologized for my mistakes- even i strongly believed that the roots of it wasn't my fault. (people who agrees pls DO spam my tagboard) its ok, i am no perfect person. i make mistakes and i pay for it. like i am paying for one ryte now. :(

well....... my words could be harsh, but at least its edited.
i noe u are not happy wif me and whats the point talking ryte?
ya.. WHATS THE POINT?
who cares about me? oops wait! WHY care about me?
who the hell am i?
answer: one useless fren. oh no wait. u are my fren, but, am i urs?

whatever la.. at least i'm glad i noe the answer.
by means and ways that some sources have been contributing cooperatively.
be angry all u want. hate me all u feel like.
i never once hold any grudges against u. no doubt about that.
at any point of tyme IF ever u think i'm still ur fren, i am not gonna treat u wif any attitude.
thats a promise. i hold on to my words.

thousands of apologies.

2009-08-12T02:10:00.005+08:00

i noe that my previous post might have hurt sumone unbearably.
thus,

I'M SORRY.
(p.s: i mean it)

well, i am getting out of ur life. right away.

2009-08-09T12:10:00.005+08:00

i noe i am not a good fren.
i noe that i am such a pain in ur ass.
i noe i am such a nag.
i noe i am a burden.
BUT..
i am not an animal that was born wif zero feelings.

i hated it when u talk rudely to me.
i hated it when u bring me down when others are there.
i hated it when u lied to me.
i hated it when u humiliate me.
i hated it when u forces me to tell u sumthing that i am not willing to.
i hated it when u always need a reason for everything i do.
i hated it when u change plans.
i hated it when u make empty promises.
and....
i hated it the MOST when u said this to me, "KAU BOLEH PEGI MAMPOS".
i hated it so much that i ran out of patience the moment i heard it.
i hated it so much that i put my hands up. I AM GIVING UP.

i am giving up on this frenship.
i am giving up tolerating all these bullshits.
i am giving up to always end up giving in.

u, u can do watever u like.
u can lie to me all u want.
u can humiliate me for all i care.
u can talk as rudely as possible to as u wish.
u can bring me down for i dun give a damn.

i dun care anymore.
u dun have to tell me anything.
u dun have to let me noe.
u dun have to face me anymore.
u dun have to spend anymore of ur precious time to do sumthing u hate.
u dun have to listen to me any longer.
and...
u dun have to say that i am ur fren anymore.
as for all i noe, this is wat u want when u asked me to jolly well go and die.
thats it.
i think its time for me fuck off from ur life.
i think its time u go and find a better fren.
and i really think that it is time for me to not bother a single thing that got to do wif ur life anymore. i give up.

one thing for sure,
u are still my fren BUT not the one u used to be.
u are still my fren BUT not a priority anymore.

and..
thank u for all the things that u've done that do me good.
thank u for the stuffs that u gave me.
thank u for the time spent.
thank u for the listening ears.
i appreciate it a whole lot.
but, i think all these have come to a stop.

i am doing as wat u wished and asked for.
i am going to mampos off from ur life.
u asked for it. u got it.

and, yes. u 've changed.
it may seems crap but, i am the one facing it.
and now, yeah.. everything's changed.
no longer the way it used to be.

not for u. but for U.

2009-08-04T00:01:00.002+08:00

first and foremost, this isn't for somebody that i believe all my beloved frens, colleagues and any other who knows about 'it'. i swear it isn't for that particular person. so, dun bother guessing.

according to plan.

2009-08-02T02:23:00.004+08:00

everything that are happening now have been great. superb.
smoothly and very impressive. i can never ask for anything more i guess.
things have been the way i wanted it to be.
sumthing like.... hehehe.. no way. i won't tell. haha. personal.
but the main point is, things are making me smiling from ear to ear now.
oh, maybe except for some. but, no! that can't get in my way. coz i dun need a bitch like u. so, BACK OFF!

:)

2009-07-30T01:09:00.003+08:00

my wednesday went well. skipped 2 lessons due to some reasons.
well, i need a good short break and i did had one.
it was superb! met up with people i adore and all those roaring laughter i had was indeed what i really need.
nothing much to share. and i am very happy to meet my 4 days 'unseen' buddy.
guilt stricken for skipping lessons but it was worth it.
569->central->eHub->cheers->pasir ris park->meet buddy->HOME.
nothing can ever be more relaxing.

vroooooommmm!!!!

2009-07-27T22:15:00.010+08:00

school was indeed boring. ok, fair enuff, it wasn't that boring but it was abit too dry and draggy. imagine having to go through 6 hours of the same module?? its OMG. but, school have been great lately as i've finally made frens wif my new classmates. :) after school met up wif ernie, kabeer and syuk and all the stupid and silly topics were brought up alongside wif yummy sweet desserts!

then, after an almost an hour and a half of dessert-ing, we went loitering around bugis street and then iluma. 'introduced' syuk the long escalator and yes! we are a bunch of jakuns ah! hahahha..

then, after having enuff of the escalator, we went around and ended up at the top most level whereby we found another in-thing. a totally brand new arcade and the games there were like B-E-S-T la! MUST GO AGAIN! plus, we were the only few goers there!

each got a partner and played this car game. i swear i dunnoe wat its called. but, one thing for sure, it was super damn fun! oh ya, my partner no use la. yup, u guess it ryte! my partner is syuk! instead of driving, he asked me to drive. then instead of helping and support me, he went around taking pictures and videos!
to sum up, it was a great short but worth the time meet up session! so, payday, each of us made a pact that we will set aside 20 bucks just to come back and play this arcade again! weee!!!
and... lastly, i hate this 'ride' here! *puke* syuk drive like a mad driver and the machine was like shaking vigorously! oh ya, call it funny, nonsense or anything. but, yes, u have to put on your safety belts during the racing game! ok.. till here! oh ya, wow! syuk goes public today!